End game

Some situation are hard to go through, from  a troublesome project to a temporary move, all you want is to finish and be done, to go back to your routine and normal life. It is easy to get overwhelmed and forget that these unpleasant situations won’t last forever. I have found out that by just thinking about the deadline, I can keep my perspective. Yes, sometimes just thinking that by a certain day you will be free makes all the difference. You won’t believe how much hardship you can endure if you know it is only temporary. That’s why for the last two months like a prisoner who is counting the days to her freedom, I’ve been waiting for the day I go back home. Only two more weeks to go, woohoo!

Personal Mantra

I can’t remember the exact source (a page on the Facebook which a friend had liked, I think) but when 3-4 months ago I saw this mantra, I knew it was mine. It addressed my inner fears and reassured me. I typed it on a memo in my phone and have been repeating it every other day. It calms me, empowers me and erases my doubts. I am sharing it with you in the hope that it helps you as well.

“I am exactly where I need to be, doing exactly as I choose to do. I am in command of myself and my life”

Giving thanks!

Such a year this has been! A whirlwind of life changing up and downs and right here, right now; I am mostly dazed thankful for surviving it. The list of this year’s event and my reasons for being grateful goes as:

-The opportunity to spend a couple of months with my father. I am glad I have grown up enough to appreciate my dad for his wonderful personality and friendship as well as his parental love and presence.

-Surviving three months of intense house hunting and finding the perfect one at the end. It is a beautiful bright house that felt home from the moment we set foot in and we knew instantly we can live there for many years to come. I am thankful for finding the house and more importantly for being able to afford it!

-Surviving six months of stressful job hunting. I am glad I was able to get through the rejections (and mostly not hearing back froms). Sometime in the middle of all that stress and despair, I was able to look at my career critically and decide to look for a job that makes me happy in the long run. Looking for a happy career instead of finding just a job, allowed me to define my goals and focus and to take steps in that direction. I am thankful for that clarification and this new attitude.

-Referring to the previous item, I am thankful as the Universe attested to my good decision by dropping a wonderful position right into my lap. Of course, this job came with its own challenges mainly moving to another state and later to another country, in addition to learning a whole new set of skills and shouldering a lot more responsibility but I can face these challenges knowing they are preparing me for my perfect future career. I am grateful for finally being on the right path and taking the steps toward a well-defined long term goal.

-I am sincerely thankful for all the tough and challenging situations in my life, for all the up and downs and for all the starting-from-scratches and for all the rejections, disappointments and failures because they have made me who I am today. Someone who can move by herself all alone to another city in another state, meet a whole department of new people and start a whole new job without any help or support. Someone who can look forward to doing the same all over again in a few short months and actually to find the whole situation exciting!  Thank you Life, thank you Mr. Universe for making me strong enough to handle what you are throwing at me, not only that but to crave new challenges and actually flourish. This gratefulness won’t mean that I won’t grumble, complain and whine or will become less anxious and stressed, only that deep down I know with certainty why I am suffering!

And yes as always, I am thankful for my supportive soul mate and life partner, for my loving family and great friends, for being healthy and having resources to achieve my goals.

“Good things come…

…to those who wait”.

It’s a total bull in my opinion. Maybe because I am not the patient type. I want things to happen when I want them and the way I want them, not a minute sooner (before I am ready!) or a minute later (what’s taking so long?!). You may say I have control issues! But really, haven’t you wondered how long you wait for wonderful things to happen in your life? Worse is the fact that most of the times you are waiting for normal everyday things to take their course and get to a point when you can act: paper work in offices takes forever, if it is through a civic office or a university you need to double or triple the time. Am I complaining? Sure, it has taken more than two weeks for some office worker to send three emails and process one online form and I’m still waiting for results! You bet I’m frustrated since I can’t act and can’t plan anything till I know the outcome. 

I am not good with waiting, not at all. I am the planner, the take action kind of person and to plan or act, I need sufficient data. When that data is not available, I feel confused and frustrated. I have tried to do things not related closely to whatever is taking time, doing indirect preparation and all of that but still after 2-3 weeks, I got to a point when I can’t wait any longer. 

All that to say, just a few days ago I was telling a friend that patience is a virtue!

Doing what you like!

A couple of months ago I decided to put my money where my mouth is (so to speak) and after years of claiming to be an Epicurean, actually apply those principles to my way of life. Since just seeking pleasure in everyday life was not increasing my overall happiness (something I have been doing for years), I made a major decision: I look for long term happiness in my bigger goals, career, education, where I live. I had been job searching for about a year (on and off) so I decided to apply to those positions that will make me happy in long term. This view made it clear to me that only research and academic jobs will contribute to my happiness. Teaching is something I genuinely enjoy and I love the challenge of planning and executing new projects. Therefore I came to one scary conclusion: no more applying to every job opening on the market! I’ll be honest and admit that it went against all my instincts, to limit myself to very few (and far between) openings that might pop up every couple of months or so. It is lowering my chances of employment pretty dramatically. However, after thinking about it for a couple of weeks, I came to understand that it is well worth it. Yes, I desperately need a job but I am not going to take detours and waste my time on something that won’t even make me happy. A paycheck is not worth my long term happiness or a wrong turn of career path.

I know I am taking a big risk but I am counting on big rewards too. Wish me luck!

Start slow!

Change comes from you not your surroundings. No one can force you to try new things or force you to stand still and frozen. Only you can bring change and newness to your life. Your surrounding plays a very small role. Start to change small things: Go for a hike, read a new book, go visit museums, go to theater or watch a new movie, make a short trip to somewhere new (even somewhere close that you never have been to), take up a new hobby or craft, learn a new language. Bring new energy into your life. Change starts slow and small but when it starts you can see the how this new energy is affecting your life.