Conquering fear and starting over

After you suffer a failure or setback, it is extremely difficult and sometimes scary to start over. The fear of failure in addition to the stress and the anxiety associated with beginning a new project or making a decision and the fear of unknown can be overwhelming. It can be paralyzing and if you are a champion procrastinator like me, you may never recover from that loss and failure. You may stay in your scared state for a very long time, afraid to change, to live or to even take a tiny step outside of your comfort zone.

 I have found out that a few strategic thoughts and planning can make risk taking (or starting over) a lot easier.

-Recognize and accept your fear. What is it that makes you most stressed about starting this new project? Which is worse, starting and losing again or staying in your unhappy place forever?

-Acknowledge the fact that failure is part of life. That you may lose again and it won’t be worse than what you are going through right now. There are very few situations and challenges in life that failure will literary equal to death. Almost nothing in the course a lifetime is literally fatal. Accept and acknowledge that if you fail again, you still have your life! Anxiety comes from “Fight or Flight” mindset, ingrained in our genes by our cave-dwelling ancestors. However there is almost no situation extreme enough in our lives to need such a reaction. We sometimes need to consciously think about the matter and change an unconscious fear into a conscious thought.

-Develop a step by step map for achieving your goal. Breaking an ultimate big target into little steps (that can be achieved with little effort) is helpful and puts the goal into perspective.

-Have a “Fall back” plan. Make a list of your resources and reassure yourself that you still have options if you fail in your new endeavor. Taking risks will become easier when you know you still have the security of your current place in life to fall back on if things go wrong.

-Remember all the challenges you’ve completed, all the frightful situations you have gone through and all the hardship you have suffered before. You got over them and you flourished and you are here a better stronger person, aren’t you? Gather your courage, you can do this too.

-Remind yourself that the project or challenge will not last forever or to the end of your life. It will take some time (a few years at the most) but someday it will end. Keep the end in mind.

-Think about how achieving that goal will make you feel. Concentrate on that feeling of success and joy, feel how strong you will be, how happy, how accomplished.

Now, get up and take that first step of you plan. You know you can do it!