Dealing with social media envy

Has it happened to you? All your friends are having fun, attending fabulous parties, traveling to exotic places, getting promotions or having lots of new exciting things happening in their lives, …posting lots of great pictures on their Instagram and Facebook... and here you are trapped at home (or a dead end job), looking for a job and dealing with rejections, the flooring in your house hasn’t been installed for 3 weeks now, the back of your car is damaged,…or any other  crappy thing happening to you… and you feel totally down and envious… oh so envious after seeing all those wonderful photos of your friends. So what can you do to feel better? Here is how I am dealing with a major case of social media (SM) envy:

-Be grateful: just a couple of months ago, I couldn’t wait to get back to my house and to my quiet boring life. I wanted peace and stability… So now that I have it, I should be grateful and not spoil it with boredom and envy.

- Remember the past: I have had fabulous time and great adventures when these friends were working hard or were in crappy situations. Now it’s their turn. Mine would come again soon enough.

-Take great pictures: a beautifully presented meal, a gorgeous piece of dessert, a romantic sunset, pretty flowers, cute pets, something fun in my day to day life. When I look for a beautiful moment to capture in a photograph, I will notice how many of those exist in my daily boring life and I usually don’t notice them. I have challenged myself to find and snap a pretty picture every day.

-Plan mini adventures (while waiting for the big one): there are new neighborhoods, cafes, parks and museums in this city of ours that I haven’t been to or I’ve liked and love to visit again. My major reason for SM envy is my craving for newness and excitement. By trying a new food, new recipe, new cuisine, going somewhere new, finding or seeing something new (a landmark, a fabric, a work of art) I feel energized and happy. I also like to start a new project, crafting something, drawing or writing and by focusing on that project I feel instantly better. By eating some never-tried-before street food, I feel daring and brave. Going hiking and getting my blood pumping makes me feel alive. I can find a performance I like to see and attend it. Dressing up for a concert or play would be fun. Yes, there are so many things I can do right here, right now that make me feel alive and excited.

-Plan your big adventure: Right now I can’t travel to the exotic places that my friends do (well, I can’t travel anywhere right now. I’m stuck at home!). No Morocco, South America or Japan in my near future. But while I wait, I am reading everything I can on Japan and planning my dream trip. I know which cities I would like to visit, what food I better eat and can find great places to stay. So when the time comes, I am ready! Along those lines, I better start learning a few Japanese words as well. The only one I know is: Sayonara!

Fear and the cost of safety

A couple of days ago, I was involved in a fender-bender. It was not my fault and there was very little damage, but I was seriously scared and shaky for the rest of the day.  Then the next day, I noticed I am looking for excuses to not leave the house and not to drive. It was hard pushing myself out of the front door and starting my car. It got me thinking how many times a bad experience scares us so much that we prefer to retreat to our safe little corner and forget everything else… to stop driving long distance, stop driving on the freeways, stop driving all together,…  stop going to meetings, to work, to classes, stop taking exams, meeting other people…. How many times we stop a necessary part of life simply because we are too scared?

What got me moving yesterday was the thought that if I stay home and don’t drive because I am nervous right now, I would look for more and more excuses and become homebound out of fear. As soon as I realized that, I got up and took my car to the supermarket. It was only a block from my house but it broke that paralyzing spell of fear.  

That’s how I usually deal with scary situations… I plunge myself head first into them without giving myself much time to think about the scary aspects. I know if I start thinking and planning about every situation which gives me pause, my procrastinating nature would take over and stop me from ever doing anything new. I don’t want to end up like a hamster in a cage, safe but trapped my whole life.

 Hamsters are cute but their lives are pathetic. I don't want to turn into a hamster!

Law of three and a warning

From my teen years I have been respectful of karmic laws and for many years now I've been living by the law of three, "Whatever you send out into the universe, it will come back to you threefold". It seems however, other people are not so considerate. My personal strategy when targeted by ill wishes and negative energy has been to forgive them their ignorance and hoping their vicious intents don't do them much harm. That is.... until now! It has come to my attention that forgiving ill wishers doesn't make them stop. I am tired of my loved ones (and myself) getting hurt because of jealousy and narrow-mindedness of others. Sometimes these people need a lesson. So here is my public service announcement:

NO MORE FORGIVENESS. I REFER ILL WISHERS TO KARMA.

Remember, karma is a bitch! Do not provoke her by ill wishes and malicious intents!

One day at a time

Depression, helplessness, hopelessness, .... have got you down? Can't work, can't change, can't decide? Just take it one day at a time. Do something constructive today, just one thing... take one single step to help yourself today. Sometimes that's all we have the energy to do, one thing per day...
And then tomorrow, you can do another little thing.... just one more step...
And day by day, we get closer to our goal.

Whole lot of effort

Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is remembering how much effort and hard work I've put into my life/career/relationships to get to this point. Considering all the sacrifices I've made, all the challenges I've gone through, all the energy and time I've spent to get to this certain point in life, giving up would be a total waste of my life, the biggest mistake. So I keep going, keep trying, keep pushing myself. Sometimes knowing I haven't got here easily is the only motivation that I need.