What makes you happy?

I hate to admit it; I’m not a happy person. I’ve met people (and am living with one) who are happy. Happiness is their default emotional state, as they don’t need a reason to be happy. For these people being alive, starting the day, and having something to do is reason enough to be happy. They can find joy in simple acts, in their daily lives, in every moment.  Sadly I am not one of these people. My default emotional sate of being is… well, it’s hard to say, often anxious, mostly frustrated, slightly upset, and looking for excuses to shift into either anger or full on stress.

So the answer to “What makes you happy?” for me is a little more than just a list of moments or people or things. To tell you the truth, I have two files on my smart phone (for easy access!): one file is a list of things or activities that make me happy; the other is a list of the times I find joy in a random moment of the day. My “Happiness is:” list is snap shots of times I feel joyful in my daily life. This list is more about mindfulness, about discovering happiness in everyday life and about appreciating and living in the moment.

Here are examples of my two lists:

-What makes you happy? Visiting museums, watching live performance (Broadway shows, ballets, symphony, and concerts), cartoons, good food, a beautiful flower arrangement, a great perfume, daily little luxuries,….

-Happiness is: … a glass of ice cold juice after an hour of walking in 98⁰ heat, … listening to the piano with a fluffy purring cat beside you, … the sweetness of chocolate melting on your tongue, … the warmth of your chamomile tea soothing away the days’ stress.  

All of us have these lists, these moments, the precious little excuses of happiness. The challenge is in remembering to look for them every second of our lives, to appreciate them and to remember them. That’s why I keep those lists on my phone. When I’m down or upset, I read and reread these lists and try to remember the moments I’ve missed that day and then add those to the list too.

I’ve found out reviewing and adding to these lists daily will keep my spirit up. When I am down I check my “Make U :)” list and I do something from that list as a "pick me up" trick. When I feel  sad and sorry for myself I look at my “Happiness is” list and am grateful for those little moments of joy. 

Being happy is a struggle, a challenge I face every moment of every day and more often than not I lose the battle and sink into anxiety or depression. But you know what? I am stubborn and I don’t give up easily. I have achieved whatever goal I set out to achieve in my life, for however long it has taken. I am not going to lose this battle. I’m not going to give up my biggest goal in life simply because it needs constant vigilance and mindfulness. I know I can do this!